Thread: Aaarrrgghhh!!!
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Old 09-28-2010, 01:24 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Babyblue
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Steve: She is an addict. Addicts place themselves in potentially dangerous situations. Addicts don't hang around church groups. I know she is a great gal to you but you think she deserves to get her drugs in some fancy hotel served by a concierge? That isn't how it works. You gotta see it through her eyes. She isn't seeing the danger, the yuck of it all because she is NUMB. All she is seeing is 'drugsdealerdrugsdealer'. Even if she is placing herself in very scary situations.

Has she ever been arrested? In jail? Are you going to demand she get her own private jail suite because she isnt like other addicts? I am not trying to be glib but you have her on some type of princess pedestal. Which I think is part of the problem. You are refusing to see that she clearly has some draw to this life (due yes to the addiction but sometimes that level of danger is a wakeup call. Not in her case which tells me that there is some type of draw for her, boredom, excitement, who knows). Steve, my guy has college degrees, etc etc. Doesn't stop him from hooking up with a dealer in some horrid place. Sober he would be shaking like a leaf around people he associates with when he is using. I'm not about to go down there and invite his dealers over for coffee and do the exchange in my house because I want him to not be in danger. Eventually he realizes how awful the life is and he gets help. As long as you are there to buffer her from the reality of what she is doing, it will take her that much longer to see it and want out of that life.

Your concerns are valid. It is a horrible situation she places herself in but SHE is the one seeking out her drugs because she is an addict. Seriously Steve, she is doing stuff you probably don't want to even know about just to fund her addiction. Stuff that will break your heart. You need to accept the reality that she is no different than any other female addict on the street trying to survive on account of her addiction. No Knight in shining armor is going to fend off the people she is surrounding herself with now.

I know you are in pain. I was miserable until I realized that the fantasy I had and the reality of who he is were so different. I was clinging to a fanasy and not seeing the reality of what he is doing to himself now. It breaks my heart. But I can't intervene because not only would it not help him, It would really damage myself and I can't afford that, nor can you.
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