Hey :-)
I can relate, my ex is out of my life and I only start the steps once he left (as you know), but the steps are for you. To figure out why you accepted what you do and what/how you contributed to the relationship.
Step one is powerful is that, even once the ex's are gone, our lives are still unmanagable.
We admit we are powerless over our lives and agree to take the next 11 steps to spiritual enlightenment.
L, you will do them whan you're ready. They only work when you're ready :-)