Thanks everyone.
I do take 100% responsability and even though I'm grateful to have found a solution to my alcoholism, I'm sorry it came at such cost (especially b/c I hurt other people).
If I get jail time and whatever programs I'm put in, I might as well make the best of it and try to carry the message. I also might as well learn as much from this experience as possible.
My biggest hurdle is simply I want to be better NOW. I want to be free NOW. I want to start rebuilding my life...NOW. That's just simply not the case and there is much to do.
Don't "they" know I've been sober for almost 9 whole months?!
(haha!)
Kjell