What you said cynical is so beautiful. Thank you.
Westbank, sorry you're hurting. It takes time. What he said to you is just horrible, but I agree with cynical it is not personal. Once I truly understood active A are not to be taken as sane people, my whole life became much more simple. It lessened the pain too. Even sane people when angry say some real stupid stuff, add alcoholism to that and it only gets even more crazier.
Take it slowly, it will be few steps forward, couple of steps back, but keep working on yourself, keep reading and posting here, it is huge help.
Take care