Kjell,
You've done what you can to mend your life, and it's a LOT. What happens now is in your HP's hands. He/she/it will protect you and give you the courage to get through whatever may come.
I'm so grateful you didn't injure yourself or anyone else badly. I think that would be the biggest nightmare of all--especially injuring or killing someone else. I know you are grateful for that, so try your best to count your blessings. You will get through this. If you wind up with a jail term, it might be an opportunity to carry the message inside.
Biggest hugs,