Originally Posted by Bernadette

Oh how I wish I could just know the right thing to do..

Well ask yourself some questions - are you getting your needs met in this relationship?Not at all!

Do you look forward to sharing the details of your day and hearing his?No, I am so much happier when he is away. Harvest season is coming up and I feel sort of happy I won't have to deal with the drama because he will be working late.

Do you do fun things or meaningful things together?Not together with just eachother, we never do anything together hardly unless it is with our kids like outdoor stuff. Today was our first time in who knows how long that we were together alone for 2 hours and I just dreaded it. sad.

Do you support each others outside interests and give each other room to grow?He thinks everything I do makes me..."more crabby towards him" like therapy, alanon, friends and even stuff I do with the kids. He questions WHY I do these things. I guess I would say he is controlling. I let him do his thing..hunting, fishing, etc.

Are you both good role models for the children in your care?He isn't. The way he parents is really not how I see things and it is frustrating. He likes to start arugments infront of the kids and goes on and on.

If I feel stuck I usually start w/ a pro-con list. Then my son showed me how he weights his lists, he gives points based on the heaviness (importance) of the item on the list. I do this now too and it helps me see things way more clearly.

Peace-
B