Originally Posted by
akrasia 
Practically speaking, detachment under the same roof hasn't worked for me. When he was out on a bender, for instance, wandering about in the countryside in the middle of the night in the winter, there was no way I could have slept peacefully until he was home safe.
I think the key words for me here is "in the winter." I hate the winter, because if he gets drunk and passes out, he could be in a life-threatening situation. I sleep like a baby when AH is out and about because I've gotten better with that kind of detachment. In fact, detachment is easy when you're left at home and you can watch TV or go about your business and not think about them.
But I admit, one time a couple of years ago we came home from an event (Robbie Burns night, in January), and he was so drunk he wouldn't get out of the car (obviously I had driven us both home). He wound up
rolling out of the car and down the driveway to the street! He was laying in the street, passed out, so I called 911 because I was certainly not strong enough to push him up on the sidewalk.
Once he was safe I could detach, but I'm sorry, to me, detachment doesn't mean risking his getting run over in front of your house.
Otherwise, if it's above freezing and he's outside, I sleep like a baby.