i love that list idea, thanks B. I also think that it would be smart to rethink the idea of staying someplace just to get something. I was offered the idea to stay here and my AH would continue to pay for my school, but i knew that would give him even more permission to be verbally and emotionally abusive, not to mention i really did not want to be the women he sat with his drunken friends and told how well he took care of me...THAT was not going to happen. I would rather have my pride then put up with allowing myself to be mistreated and using that person who is treating me so horribly. Just a thought you may want to consider...what does that teach your children? Good luck whatever you decide. I am packing my things and have plans to leave the end of the month.