With regards to detachment...geez that was hard work! If I didn't physically leave the room I would have to turn my head so I couldn't see him, focus all my attention on something else to drown his words out and physically hold my mouth shut to remind myself not to fall for the provoking and "get into it".
Once I found I could actually control myself it kinda gave me some power and that made me feel good. He was so miserable that he wanted me to feel that way too, wanted me to fight back so he could turn it all around to be what was wrong with me...I learnt that from detaching and watching, saying nothing...just watching. It was amazing to me that it could be something other than what I thought it was and that I didn't have to place all the ammunition into his hands by reacting how he wanted me to.
I detached so much that in the end I just didn't give a crap and that kinda set me free.