Thank you all so much... I did consider going to one of those naranon meetings, Its just hard for me to accept that "I" need any help
.. But yeah, over the years I have felt pain from this.. The on again off again part of the relationship was her alternating between me and the "enabler" - after reading I feel like in part, he was dragging her down and I was unintentionally, in a sick way, enabling, by pulling her back up.. Getting her well, rested up and ready for another run w/ the cocaine and his abusive ways.. ugh.. this is too complicated for my mind