Mambo Queen, I am going thru something quite similar right now, my AH is homeless, got out of the psych ward yesterday, and was supposed to go to the Salvation Army for intake (he had a phone interview w/them while in psych ward). He has not gone, he arrived at my house this morning drunk at 8 am, he was wandering the streets all night I guess. I am sad for him, seeing him today at his last stages of alcoholism, is a very sad thing to witness. Like your's he can manage a couple of months of sobriety, but when he drinks, he's off to the races so to speak for weeks and months. And like your's, he is not mean or conniving right now, actually looks like a broken down old man, alot older than 56. He has lost everything, and still drinks and lives at the train station (I gather, in my town that's where they all live).
I feel sad for my AH, makes me want to cry also, but I know there is nothing I can do to help him ... I can only pray for him and for God's will to be done.
I feel for you, but you're doing great. We are human, we have compassion and feelings. It's ok to feel sad, as long as you don't let it interfere with your life.
Hang in there ... let it play out the way it's meant to play out.
Hugs