Hello you - sounds like a most trying day. You AH is certainly a very selfish one - no doubt about that but that seems to be a common trait.
When I temporarily moved out until my husband left the house I did have to go back a couple of times to get things. One time I had to be there for a couple of hours while windows were replaced. He was so unpleasant to me though that it made it all much easier. Whenever I had to call round he was either emotionally abusive to me or just laying on the couch in a state of inertia. In a way your AH is making it that bit easier - if he were actually being decent it would probably be harder. I was quite grateful for how horrid mine was. I actually thanked him the one morning - I said "Thank-you ..you are making this very easy for me and completely reassuring me that I have made the right decision".
As for that frying pan smily - another reason I ended it was my own fury and outrage at him... (working on that now - codependency identified and being addressed :P). After the police became involved on the day I called an ambulence, I was asked if I was scared of AH being violent. I said no not really - I am more scared of what I might do - I can imagine I am going to whack him over the head with a frying pan one day and it might just kill him.