not completely detached emotionally Steve you are at the polar opposite of detachment. Don't take this the wrong way, but I'd advise you to .....l i s t e n..... to what people here are telling you. Let me ask you this. What's the purpose of meeting her? Is it to give her money, a ride, a shower, food, to wash her clothes, give her a place to sleep, run her errands? What does SHE get out of meeting you, because I guarantee you that there has to be something...and it's not your smiling face. She's getting something or she wouldn't bother.
Please don't take this the wrong way and I don't mean to sound harsh, but you're not getting a clear picture of just HOW selfish an addict is. She is using you. I know this is hard, but you're spinning in circles with all of the posts - it's clear. BTDT and it stinks. I thought I was so far ahead when I wasn't. It took me about 2.5 years to get where I am at and MANY here @ SR say I have LONG way to go. (zip it cynical
lol)
Click on my name and review some of my initial posts here. I as you thought my addict was so different. Hopefully you take this the right way.
I understand the need to tell her of you going no contact because of xyz. If that will actually HELP YOU GO no contact than by all means tell her. IMHO. But you NEED to go no contact or this insanity will never end.
From a previous post to you from me... Please read it again...
Steve,
My addict ran the same route as your addict did for about 2 years. Wanting treatment, getting treatment, leaving treatment, gonna go back, no beds, needed more time to 'finish up loose ends'. The I'm sorry's, I'm ready, I'm done. All the while doing the same thing over and over again. He's clean now, but he'll admit that he had absolutely NO intention of going. He went to meetings, heck he even 'chaired' a meeting that was new to our area. He was high when he did it. She's bs'ing you Steve. She's stringing you along. I can see clearly in your posts as I too have lived through and wanted so desperately to believe that he meant what he said.
What you've endured can go on for YEARS. It did for me. I pray that you're stronger than I was to remove yourself. I pray that you can learn something quicker than I did by sharing my experience.