One thing that helps me when I start thinking crazy 'maybe we can live together!!!' thoughts with my ABF is when I look at the current reality of his life. My stray cat was in better shape when I found him. I had to let go of the fantasies I had that his will 'snap' out of it with my love and support. Not gonna happen. Plus Ive worked very hard for what I have to let him run amuck in my life unless is serious about recovery.
And I hate to point this out to you but they are a manipulative crafty bunch and I know my ABF hand picked me to be the gal who would put up with lots of stuff, possibly provide him with a home etc etc since he knew how bad he really was. He did a great job convincing me that he was much stronger than he is. I bought it. I love him to pieces, have no intention of ending things but will not even consider living together until he gets his sh*t together. Honestly he respects me way more because of it. He is smart enough to know it will do more damage for him to latch onto me instead of facing his recovery on his own. Please please think carefully about that step. It is the next logical step in a NORMAL HEALTHY relationship but not when you are dating an alcoholic. All that logic and stability is replaced by Bizarro Town, Crazyville USA.