Originally Posted by
IrishEyes88 
I think I feel shame right now because I'm still a mess. I'm out of control and even my appearance has suffered greatly because of the booze.
It would be a lot easier to tell people about AA when I've regained order in my life. Then I can feel proud.
I've been avoiding people so long because I'm so ashamed of myself. It would feel amazing to walk with my head held high again. I'd love to look people in the eye. I'd even love to get checked out by guys in public again!!!!
Oh, boy, Irish, do I know how you feel! Before I quit. . .well, my appearance took a dive. I guess to some people I still looked okay, but let me tell you. ..
I had gained back about 20 or 30 pounds of weight I never wanted to see again, my face looked old and tired with puffy eyes, my skin was feeling older (and lets not even talk about all those mysterious bruises), i definitely didn't shower everyday because quite frankly, I didn't care.
My appearance well, let's just say it wasn't the best.
Mentally -- well, no, I didn't like to look people in the eyes. Sure I could put a good front when I needed to, and get the people I needed to trust me to trust me (like the kids' teachers), but it was, or at least felt like, a big lie. I was walking around as a big, fat, ugly, dirty liar. Wow. What an image.
That is a hell to which I do not want to return. You don't have to be there.
You can make a decision right now. . .not to have another day 1, that ain't working for you. But to just stop. Just be done drinking. Its over. It is out of your life. No matter what comes your way (and trust, it is flying at me so fast right now I can't come up for air), alcohol is NOT the answer.
Once you get it cleared out of your system, and your life, you can pick yourself up again, start liking the way you look again, look people in the eye again and deal with whatever comes your way.
Thing is, I like myself again. It has been quite a while for that.