Akrasia, I know what you're feeling all too well. AH got sober last summer and it took me several months to finally get myself out of "crisis mode." Those first few months were full of "what ifs" and while I wanted to hold onto those moments with everything I had, I was also afraid to let myself trust again, always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Sadly, AH did recently start drinking again, while away for military training, and we're back to square one. But no matter what happens, I will always have those wonderful memories to treasure when I once again had my husband back instead of the empty person who had taken over his body. Whether AH gets sober again or not, and whether or not my marriage lasts, I'm grateful that we had those happy times together.
One of the toughest things I'm trying to learn is that AH is either done drinking or he isn't, and worrying isn't going to make a bit of difference.