"Hey Jack Ass, don't ever call me that again!"
IMO, practicing alcoholics make terrible parents.
Your thread reminds me of my Dad and all of the horrible $hit I had to endure as a teen. The worst was not how he treated me because I avoided him like the plague. The worst was how he interacted with my brothers. It was truly a NIGHTMARE. The older they got, the worse it got. My heart still remembers the sheer PANIC of being woken up in the middle of the night (on school nights no less) to yelling and screaming and fighting and people hitting walls, breaking glass, throwing $hit, hitting someone over the head full force with a baseball bat... I could go on but suffice it to say that I am 42 years old and I can still SEE clear as day, full-action memory of my father hauling off and punching my Mom in the face and her falling backwards. I remember plain as day how after that she ran around crying, searching desperately for his keys so that he would not LEAVE her! WHAT?!?!?! THAT was the night I left, no place to go but my BF's house, 17 years old, 2 weeks out of high school. This set up a cognitive, emotional, and life-decision pattern for me that I was not able to break out of until I was nearly 40 years old.
He's in his 70s now, still drunk, and doesn't remember, but we are all living with the aftereffects to this day.
You need to know that it is likely to get worse as time goes on, and as your son grows and naturally becomes more independent (and therefore "rebellious"), and more of a threat to the alcoholic (real or perceived). Alcoholism is a progressive disease that, unless the alcoholic completely stops drinking, worsens over time.
You need to KNOW that the decisions you are making NOW while your boy is 13 years old will affect him for THE REST of his life. This is why, when you say this:
I do want him gone, but we don't have the funds, so when we do, he will go.
I realize you do not see the magnitude of this problem.