thank you so much for your reply! i wish i was gone yesterday. i have so much to do, because as usual, i am left to clean up the mess, but i feel i have to deal with the responsibilities i've taken on. It can't come soon enough. you have brought tears to my eyes and i know i need to be able to keep my focus. My kids and even my parents are very supportive and i am so grateful for that.
I feel very alone right now, because i am out of state and there is no Alanon available to me here so i don't have anyone in real life as I go around packing my things and trying to find homes for a few pets that i will not be able to bring....i've had to choose who i can keep and who must go and it has been tough, but it is another thing that has kept me trapped, my doing, of course....i see my part very clearly, and so i must clean it up and free myself in a responsible fashion, because i am strong and I know i've been working toward this for some time....as i got healthier and healthier with myself, in spite of the AH's games. i was never a fan of roller coaster rides, but just never knew how to really get off, until now!! thank you!!