Wow, I know exactly how you feel, because I did the EXACT same thing yesterday with regard to the Facebook incident that I mentioned in another post. I am, by nature, a VERY restrained person, very slow to anger. But sometimes it seems the the pressure builds up and I blow like Vescuivius! I feel like that Jet Blue guy who just snapped--but our excape hatches with alcoholics aren't as easy as pressing a button to release a rubber ramp--boy it wish it were that easy! We must have been going through the exact same emotions yesterday, chickory, and we didn't even know it!
I was even embarrassed to realize my windows were open, and my neighbors probably got an earful! And I'm someone who sweeps EVERYTHING under the rug emotionally--I yell maybe once every two years.
In this case I think I "blew" because he was SO irrational, and I think I was trying to scream sense into him--but my main emotion was pure frustration more than anything else--not anger.
So I, like you, was doing soul-searching and realized I should NOT have brought up the topic when he was drinking--duh, Al-Anon 101. But OK, I slipped on that one. I think what I did AFTER I ranted was what I should have done BEFORE--I took the dog to the dog park for an hour and half and it calmed me down big time.
I think all of us are entitled to messing up every now and then. The sad part is as L2L said, we just reduce ourselves to their level, which isn't pretty, and we know it. That's we we feel bad and worthless afterwards.
Yesterday's gone--just pick yourself up and find something to do FOR YOU today.