What's maddening about all this is that even though I told the guy that I wasn't drinking now, and I know that's the best choice for me, my mind still tries to get me to reconsider, even now at the eleventh hour. I have to bi*ch slap myself upside the head and say, no you're going to a meeting tonight, do you want another headache like last week, do you want to feel like total dogcr*p tomorrow, blah, blah ,blah, back and forth in my own head. It is getting easier to say no, but it's still frustrating that my mind still wants to play games with itself. You would think, after 30+ years of total mindnumbing abuse, that my mind would say stuff like, hey, this is great, feel tons better, keep it up bro, but no, my sick mind keeps telling me, hey, just go and have a coke, you won't get drunk this time, it would be good to see your friends, sitting at home later is gonna sux, and round and round we go.
This recovery stuff sure is fun sometimes......NOt, but it is what it is.