I think it's very easy to only cling to the 'good' memories from back in the day. The 'laughs' and the mad times and all of that.
I had some great memories from drinking and drugging and got up to some mental stuff and I am glad i experinced all that I experienced. However for the last few years of my drinking then it was pretty bad to be honest. I drank alone 95% of the time as it was easier and less hassle and then I was drinking alone on park benches and round the football field necking booze before I came home. I used to feel like a total loser nailing booze on my own whilst little kids played football with their dads or whatever. I used to think "man, what the hell happened to you?"
I know through hard earned experince that good times were long since over. My last drinking and drugging was spent with my old best mate and I realised that the good-times were well and truly over. My drinking and drugging had reached the stage where it was get sober and go all out in recovery or lose everything to alcohol and drugs.
I'm glad I reached that total acceptance whilst still 23. I am grateful for my heavy use of drugs as that undoubtedly sped the process up by many years. I was a total coke head and a drunk.
peace