My XAH never owned up to any of the bad things he did; secretly filming and taping, going on Match.com saying he was divorced when he wasn't, hiding money, taking pills, (was open and I knew about pot and booze), blaming me for carwrecks on insurance, denting my car and not telling me,never filing the papers to our house with the county when we bought the house from his brother with 50% my money too.....,(so when we seperated his brother owned the house )??????WTF???????? After that one his lawyer dumped him. I got a $ payoff......'cause I had a good lawyer......He actually had no conscious and no amount of me wanting for him to admit his mistakes it wasn't going to happen. It was something I had to accept and life got alot easier when I did. He now blames me for all the problems he has including he is losing that house.....says I ruined his kids (my stepkids) lives. His kids have nothing to do with him because he is a drunk. They have their own lives and are in their mid 20's. I had a great relationship with the kids when we were married. BUT the X has to blame me so he doesn't look at himself. He chose too drink and drive which gave him DUI's. He chose not to complete treatment which made him lose his good job....$50,000 a yr. He went to jail for dui's and not showing up for court and showing up intoxicated. I had nothing to do with his choices. I did overeact some (before Alanon) and learning to detach. I did engage with him when he was drinking.....didn't know better again, before Alanon. Now....3yrs. after divorce I think he was a sociopath or psychopath. I doubt if he ever owns up to his mistakes. Acceptance for me is the answer to everything. Serenity prayer....some things I can't change......A big part of letting him go was seeing the real deal.....who he was......lier, cheat, drunk, addict, sex/porn addict......jerk......out to use people......and yes....he has a new victim.......sometimes I want to warn her. She was a friend of mine.....but that is tricky so I will stay in my own hoola-hoop and mind my own business. I am free. I am in acceptance. I am in gratitude.