Originally Posted by Tally

Kia, if you want the cycle of pain to stop then you NEED to begin to work on yourself, concentrate on you and seek out some help for yourself.

It is great that you come here and I hope the forum is a great support to you as it is to me and everyone else here...BUT...

Sometimes our self esteem and self worth gets really damaged and so because it is so low, we feel worthless and feel that this behaviour is all we deserve...the best we can get and so we accept behaviour and treatment that no "normal", self respecting person would EVER put up with.

I bet you feel better about yourself when you're with people who make you feel good, friends who make you laugh, family who love you no matter what...there are blokes like this too, nice blokes who will treat you good and as a result of spending time with people who make you feel good, it makes you feel better about yourself...the more time you spend with people who are nice, calming, honest, loyal...the more you realise just how bad it was, just how much you put up with and you wonder why.

Have you thought about seeking counselling for yourself? You can get 8 free hour sessions via your GP if you ask to be referred, that's in Liverpool anyhow, I'm sure Southport would be similar. I had the 8 sessions myself and found it really helped me to understand why I do what I do. I'm no where near "cured" but I've unravelled a few things from the past and put some bits into order, it might help you too.

Please go and get checked for Gonorrhoea, reading about it, it says there are few symptoms, sometimes no symptoms or very mild ones, mild enough to go unnoticed but left untreated can cause severe complications and serious infection which can spread throughout the reproductive organs, causing things like pelvic inflammatory disease. If you don't get tested you might not know until it's too late to be treated successfully.

As for the other woman...she's young, she doesn't know him well. She prolly doesn't moan about his drinking and spending money, she doesn't know he lies and is selfish and treats u like dirt. She's just his new enabler...she gives him less stick because she hasn't experienced how bad he can get yet. When she realises what a s**t he is and starts trying to change him, he'll find someone else who makes his addictions easier to go on with. Alcoholics don't have relationships, they take hostages and use people.