Neo, I know you wouldn't gloat about something like this (hard to picture you gloating in general either, ha ha), but I must be a little psychic, because I was just writing to somebody about taking a long time to get "this far" - and then I thought of you and how you're the age when my problems were only just getting started. Then I pictured myself saying to you here that you should "gloat" about it. But not exactly the right word obviously.
I think I know just what you mean about the gladness in the self-knowledge though. I keep saying this like a broken record, but when I discovered what it felt like to accept as fact that I was an alcoholic instead of pushing aside any contemplation of it, it was really empowering and I even smile about it sometimes too. Understanding that this is something that is with me for life - like a disease - has been really helpful to me. I don't really know if I would still be sober now if I didn't get a grip on that.
Something I don't remember whether I pointed out to you or not....When you say that we should think of a drinking problem as a thinking problem, I don't know if you took on that learning from somebody else at meetings or the Big Book or what have you; but I remember you saying it here, and it has been a huge help to me. I look at how I think often and I recognize when it is the kind of thing that enabled me to drink, or added layers to the addiction. (Resentment and dwelling on fears are examples.) Then I shift gears, not to pretend to be an angel and not specifically to "avoid" drinking, but because I do myself a favour when I improve the tone of my thinking.
