you are not an idiot. it's hard to walk away from someone that we love, and someone we had all these hopes/expectations/dreams for/with.
marriage, raising a family, a house, a loving partnership, forever. that's what we wanted. that's what we worked so hard towards. unfortunately, we ended up being the only ones actually working for it, and that's when you have to walk away.
a relationship is 50/50. both people putting in equal effort in the pursuit of one goal: a happy life with eachother.
you deserve no less than to be with someone who is willing to work just as hard as you. it is possible, there are men like that out there. maybe, one day, your xbf will be that one. but as for now, he seems like he doesn't want to do the other 50 percent. mine doesn't either, so i'm sorry to say we're in the same boat. but hey, atleast we have our sons to look forward to. all the love we get from/give them, that will fill our hearts.
cheer up. your life is just starting, really. =)