Originally Posted by
phineas 
I keep trying to get her to understand that the only reason our relationship ended was because she chose to continue drinking, even after all the chances I gave her to quit. She doesn't seem to understand that or to acknowledge that, and I don't know it she ever will. There no point in continuing to try.
This is very honest of you. You recognize that you want validation/recognition for her. Most of the people here will tell you that you'll probably have to learn to find validation in yourself, because your partner won't ever give that to you. She may, sometime in the future, admit it to you, but by then (heck, even by now), you won't be able to trust what she says.