Originally Posted by
15beatsperminut 
I know the drinking is a problem....
I got kicked out of my dorm in college for my drunkenness for a semester.
I have gotten in multiple fights.
I have fallen and hurt myself more times than i can count without recalling how (most recently friday, my knee is still killing me)
I have gotten 1 drunk in public ticket, urinating in public (recent), and purchasing alcohol underage
I have embarrassed myself infront of my family multiple times
I have said inappropriate things to classmates, teachers (who was an alcoholic good thing she didnt remember anything), and countless other people.
I know the problems associated with drinking. but lets face it ...its fun to get drunk and not .....sucks. That is why i am trying to figure out a middle ground. I don't feel alcohol is a disease...i could not drink i just frankly enjoy it as a way to relax once a week, i just need to keep it in moderation. Self-control is what I need to work on. Its my lack of self-control after a certain point that I need to address.
My good buddy is coming over friday, I am either 1) going out of that '1 last hooray' (he likes to drink as well) but i am going to make a good effort not to pregame with half a handle of vodka.... and than after that I am going to either stop drinking if I can not maintain a coherent mind state or I am going to "unteach" myself bingeing.
I think my game plan will consist of...
if i go out I will not pregame at all
I will have a drink at usual pace (not chugging ---it always amazes me that i am the first one done with my drink and refilled when people are on their first)
I am going to abstain from hard liquor (vodka and cokes with lime are my favorite and I will no longer have them)
I am also going to go out later (i usually go at 8 because I know i get so drunk I will pass out by 12 ....) So i am going to go out at like 9:30-10 and that at tops will allow only 3 hours of drinking and i will max that at 5 drinks total.
If none of the above work. than im done with drinking.
i also have a hard time rationalizing the thought that- alcohol "controls me" when it seems people who quit still all alcohol to control by constantly thinking about it and i had to go to AA 2 times for my drunk in public back in college and that seemed like straight brainwashing and overload of "dont drink" and religious talk. it seemed people there seemed to turn their "quitting alcohol" into another addiction ...the addiction of quitting. I am either just going to stop and thats it ..no more daily reminders not to drink just thats it or i am going to figure out moderation
Wow. You said a lot here. First, from your laundry list, yes, i would say alcohol is causing you some problems.
Second, you started to say what you were going to do when your buddy came into town and you started your options with a 1. but you never gave the alternate. . .do you have another plan? Cuz it sounds to me like you just want to go all out and have a drunken time. . .that's fine, i'm not judging you or that choice. Just remember, if you are going to quit, there has to be a last time sometime.
There is a healthy debate as to whether alcoholism is a disease or not. I happen to think it is. I think it is both mental and physical, having done a lot of indpendent research on the subject. But you know what? It really doesn't matter. For those of us who have lost the ability to control our drinking, we are just better off staying away from it.
Many of us have started out as binge drinkers. Yes, I loved to drink to have a good time. . .yes, i liked that alcohol helped me relax. . .in fact, that is how i ended up an everyday drinker. After a hard day at work, and after dealing with coming home, cleaning, dinner, getting kids all set for bed, etc., drinking was a way to relax. I deserved it you know! Well, that thinking got me into a lot of trouble and where i am today.
However, i am sober today. My drinking days are over. i don't want to go all out and have a good time. If i want to go all out now, it is to block everything out, because that is what i taught myself.
This is the direction I see you headed at 23. I could be wrong about it. You may be one of the lucky few who can learn to control your drinking and drink like a gentleman. If you can, well, I bow to you. If not, you are heading for some seriously difficult times.
Think about it, and think about why you joined this website and what that means.
Take care!