hi everyone
this weekend was the latest in a long list of pathetic and humiliting behavior. I am a 25 year old male that lives in Milwaukee and i am at the point where enough is enough. I am truly a sad pathetic soul and drinking just makes it worse.
Why I decided to post here
As i said last weekend has made me feel like a pathetic human being. It all started Friday at 4PM and ended Sunday at 4am. I consumed at least 700 dollars worth of booze in that time period, and had such terrible withdrawal that i nearly had to call 911 to take me to detox. During the proccess of this weekend i managed to **** off almost every person i know and went through a catastrophic emotional breakdown . it is so bad that i literally want to leave and never return (i just started a new career though). I feel guilty and completely worthless for what i did. I took off work today because i spent all day balling and physically incapacitated. i am a miserable person and binges like this happen about 25 times a year and i decided that i NEED help.
the hard part is that i am very lonely and bars are the only place to meet people(in wisconsin). Quitting this life style means i am just going to be even lonlier and more miserable because i will have nobody left. My mom is a cocaine addict and i fdo not want to hurt my grandma by telling her how horrible and despicable my lifestyle can be. I am such a wounded soul right now, i am miserable.
but i want to find help but i just do not think i can stay sober.