My advice is going to be different. Here is why, I was married and unfaithful. I was the 'woman' and I doubt she didn't know about you. Because I was never a 'girlfriend' men would confide in me about their wives/gfs. I'd even give advice!
The issue for you is trust. And that is a solid issue because it isn't just trusting that he will be physically faithful but that trust that he does love you. Only you will know that answer. But the saying is, if it is too good to be true than it probably is. You said you placed him on a pedestal. He is human. Humans are flawed. He is recovered so he has a skill set that makes lying very successful. He probably did it without realizing because that was just how he lived his life as an addict. And it it has finally caught up with him.
But with being caught also comes a HUGE relief in that he doesn't have to live a lie. He probably realized how highly you thought of him and it boosted his ego so time went on, the lie continued and he couldn't figure out a way out of it. Now it has come home. So you can look at it several different ways:
1. Trust is broken, very tough to rebuild if ever in which case ending things is best
OR
2. The truth is out there about who he really is and he no longer has to be something he isn't. In which case, he still seems like a mess to deal with but you clearly love him so maybe think of a plan. Say, you'll try couple's counseling and then if that doesn't work you will leave.
I never see these things as black and white. They never are. I know you were shocked and surprised but sadly I think there were signs that you overlooked or were not aware of. It sounds almost like he wanted to get caught. That the lie was too much for him.
Again, this is all from a different perspective. Your pain is justified. He did a horrible thing. He is hating himself now and stands to lose the one good thing he probably ever had: YOU. So that means YOU have the power now. Embrace it and use it to your advantage whatever the outcome.
