HoopNinja

That is exactly what happened. I left my apartment because stbxah would not leave me alone and was at my sister's house. Both the pastor and stbxah were calling me there. She asked me to come in and talk to her. I did but I did not tell her about the addictions because being the co-dependent I was I did not want stbxah to lose his job. If I would have been healthier I would have sat there and told her the truth. I was also in the middle of a major depressive episode at the time (that started when I decided not to marry stbxah).

My sister keeps sending me emails that say one thing--don't let him steal your joy. I think I will make that my mantra for a while and see how I feel in a few days. Mostly what I was doing when I posted this originally was expressing my feelings--because once again, I find myself shaking my head in disbelief that something like this can happen. The things I want to do are because I am angry but I don't think it would produce any results. It is just like the mediator said--he is a loser and pathetic and there is nothing anyone can do to change that but him--and he's obviously not interested in changing it.

Also, what the pastor did she did 13 years ago. I am going to have to forgive her. But, just to clear the air--I would like to talk to her. She is a pastor so it would be a confidential conversation. I still remember a conversation I had with her about my mom. She told me I could forgive her but I did not have to think what she was doing to me was OK. I think the same thing applies to what happened with her.

I won't let him steal my joy! I won't let him steal my joy! I won't let him steal my joy!