why would you say "we don't have the $$ for him to get an apartment"? Let HIM worry about his own place...are you financially capable of providing him a place to stay along with supporting yourself, household and children?
if he's got $$ for booze and pot, he's got $$ to find himself a place to live or go to a hotel..or home to mama....let him know he is responsible for CHILD SUPPORT.
he sounds like an emotional whiny kid hiding in his frat house basement, he is abusive towards you, I would cancel his car insurance now and start worrying about yourself and children.