((coffee))
welcome to our SR family - hate so much that you are dealing with the active disease - I can relate to how painful that can be.
Are you attending any al-anon meetings? I know for me that is one of the best things I ever did in dealing with the active disease - it helps me tremendously. I also read recovery literature, post here and share with recovery oriented friends (also lots of prayer with the God of my understanding)
Please keep posting and sharing here - sometimes taking good care of ourselves and stepping out of the way of the A's - allowing them to walk their own path is the best thing - it gives them their self-respect and dignity to find their own way.
Don't give up before the miracle happens in you - YOU deserve it!
PINK HUGS,
Rita