CoffeeLover

I just found this board and thought it might be good to ramble and get some things off my chest. My husband (married 8 years) is an alchoholic. Our many years together before our marriage were very difficult years due to the alcoholism. Eventually things hit rock bottom and he got treatment. He maintained sobriety for 8.5 years. I truly never thought that we would have to deal with the alchohol again.

Unfortuantely the alcohol re-entered our lives New Years Eve of this year and has slowly been destroying our perfect family since. My husband accepts that he is powerless over Alcohol and truly says that he wants help. He goes to AA meetings every day and has gone on medications prescribed by his dr (Campral to reduce alchohol cravings and depression / anxiety meds). However, I am struggling with trusting him again. He has always hid his alcohol and rarely every openly admits that he drinks, even when it is completely obvious. He swears 100% that he has not drank in the last 3 weeks, but I still don't believe him. In the past week alone there was one night where he passed out on the couch and then was stumbling into the walls. He swears it was pills (vicodin leftover from earlier dental procedure). Then another day I come home from work very early and find 3 tall beers in the fridge. He claims he had the urge, but wanted me to find them so that I would throw them out. I know that he would have drank those beers had I not come home from work early. Then this weekend he passed out in the hallyway while painting and literally had paint dripping all over himself (he claims he was tired and finally admitted it was pills again). I am constantly looking for beer scattered all over our garage, since this is where he always hides the empty cans. Of course I found a full opened can this weekend and he swear it had been there for weeks. I know that this is not the truth b/c I know I have looked in that particular hiding space many times before.

I just truly don't know how to handle all of this. We have 2 young kids and it scares me leaving them in his care. We had a very bad incident when I had to go out of town for a weekend a couple of weeks ago and I left our kids in his care. Luckily I had family who could come over and stay with my kids and watch over my husband so he wouldn't hurt himself. He claims that this was his rock bottom. He went through Detox at home which was just awful to watch. He was very sick, shaking, and sweating for several days. He swears that he would never go through this again, but I just don't feel that we have moved on. We no longer have a happy healthy home for our kids and that tears me apart. Any advice?