Just wanted to say that you are not alone. I too have felt the way that you described too many times in my life. There are no words that can describe that "tired and alone" feeling as it can be so overwhelming.
The only reason I am alive today is very similar to why you are, my kids saved my life because I did not want to leave a legacy of suicide for them to deal with as they grow up. After my children were grown and no longer were dependent upon me I struggled even more with suicide.
Even after I quit drinking, I am an alcoholic, I still struggled with depression and suicide. I finally on the advice of several friends sought help with a mental health provider. It has been a struggle over the past 10 years but I am very grateful to those people that encouraged me to seek help.
It has taken many different medication attempts to find the combination that works best for me. There are people who only need medicine for a short period of time to get them past that initial hump of a seasonal or situational depression. You might be one of the fortunate ones. Unfortunately for me, I am someone who will require medication the rest of my life due to PTSD, chronic depression, chronic anxiety, and bipolar disorder (all were diagnosed in sobriety).
Hang in there and try to believe that there is hope that things will get better. Always remember that it is better to chase a dream (hope) than to let go and miss all the music life has to offer. I know for me that has paid off and my children are better for my hanging onto hope.
Please keep us posted and share how things are progressing. Please feel free to post in and read out mental health forums as well. Take care. I look forward to hearing from you.