(((Wow))) - please do call and reach out. Suicide has been said to be a "permanent solution to a temporary problem" or something like that.
I've been where you are, though not with the baby. I thought my life was meant to be nothing but miserable, just couldn't deal with the now XABF.
I can tell you that these feelings don't have to last. Reach out, ask for help and be willing to take it. Sometimes that's the hardest part. I know I didn't feel "worthy" of help, but some great people insisted
We care, and we're here for you, but you may need more than we can offer. Please call the number (((LaFemme))) posted and talk to someone. YOU deserve more, as does your baby.
Love, hugs and prayers,
Amy