Try to think of it this way. It is the disease doing everything in its considerable power not to be killed. Addiction WANTS to live. It's like cancer. It consumes what is good and turns it into something evil that wants to kill the addict and keep itself alive.
Addicts and alcoholics (which are just another form of addict) are not blameless when they cause harm to others, but often it is the disease that is causing them to behave the way they do. They can choose recovery, but as I read it described (I think it was in "Under the Influence") they must experience a level of pain sufficient for them to be pushed out of the "addict" orbit into the "recovery" orbit. The disease is the counterforce keeping them in the "addict" orbit until that critical mass is achieved.
I don't know of many addicts that get up in the morning and say, "Who can I hurt today? How can I cause maximum chaos in the lives of people who care about me?" No, they get up and they say, "Man, I gotta use/drink--how can I do that with minimal pain to myself?" What they do to those around them is collateral damage as far as they are concerned. Because all they care about is avoiding their own pain of withdrawal, of thinking about anyone but themselves, of thinking about how screwed-up their own lives have become.
So it's best not to take it personally, but rather to take steps to minimize the damage to yourself and to let the consequences of the addict's actions fall squarely on themselves, where it belongs. Let the pain grow to critical mass. They will get well or they won't, but that's up to them.