My boundaries were when he asked to come home (he was on probation after jail, had no money, no where to go, "learned his lesson", was working a program (yeah, right) and gonna be on house arrest for 3 months) was that he needed to attend all his therapy sessions and AA 3 to 4 times a week. He was allowed to do that on house arrest and he did do that on house arrest. He never missed any therapy sessions, but about a month or so ago, he stopped going to AA because he was "working so much", which he was and most nights he'd get home from therapy (he took public transportation or rode his bike cause I don't give him rides) after 9 pm and had to get up for work at 4 am. I told him that wasn't the deal and we needed to amicably discuss divorce. Last week, he went to 3 AA meetings (supposedly) and this week, relapse!!!!! I also said when he came home and while he was in jail that if I did allow him to come home, if he drank I would notify his probation officer and he would be violating probation and he'd have to leave the house. He understood and agreed. About a month ago, he said he thought that was wrong of me, I should just ask him to leave but not notify his po. That's when I knew it was only a matter of time. I told him I didn't care what he thought, that was my boundary (to which he got all annoyed and said therapy is messing me up and turning me into someone he doesn't know lol). And I did follow thru on that, called her twice yesterday, left messages, called her supervisor also, left a message, and called her again today on the chance maybe she was working on a holiday weekend. In my message to her I also stated that he's been able to get over on breathalyzers in the past, so I suggested she bring a urine kit w/her. Hopefully she will be in next Tuesday, but she does not do surprise visits like she used to, last time she left her card and when he called her she said "well, you weren't home, no biggie", she "schedules" visits, which gives him time to sober up. Those were my boundaries ... they were broken ... I need to do what I need to do.