AmericanGirl

Hey, I'd see that one! I'm particular about my horror movies . . . but anything with creepy children and/or exorcism usually makes the cut.

I'm excited about fall approaching, too. Looking forward to some cooler weather.

I've been having drinking nightmares again. A lot of them this week. In the dreams I decide I can maybe have one drink, but then in the middle of the drink, I freak out, get upset, and stop midway. In the dream last night I actually felt a bit drunk--in a gross, sleepy, passing out kind of way--so maybe that's a good trick my mind can play on me to remind me what I'm NOT missing. I'm not sure why the dreams are happening now, except perhaps that I've been socializing a little more. I still haven't been in a "drinking only" environment, like a bar (and I'm in no hurry to go), but I did last week go to a restaurant that doubles at a bar, a place where in the past I did get drunk. UGH. It was hard, but I ate dinner there w/everyone and had my diet coke, and drove myself and got out of there as soon as I needed to . . . socializing sober has been easier than I thought it would, in many regards, but I have always had a lot of problems worrying excessively about what people think of me after the fact, and that continues. I think when I was drinking I found it easy to dismiss anything embarrassing or obnoxious by telling myself, "oh well, I was drunk and so was almost everyone else . . ." Or, it would be easier to forget these things, the night being a blur. Now, I still experience shame and regret over things that logically, reasonably I know people don't care about/notice, or even if they did, are very minor things. (I think I inherited this from my mother, who also worries endlessly about social graces.) I need to talk to my counselor more about all this soon, but it's good to get it out on the page here, too. Sorry for the endlessness and disorganization of this post!