I don't really know what to say but I'm sorry you're going though all this.
In regard to the way he speaks to you, there is a thing called Alcoholic jelousy (don't know if you use that term in English), which is something some heavy drinkers develop after years of alcohol abuse. It is to do with the fact that they become impotent, and their brain being scr**ed up from alcohol, so they develop this paranoid thoughts that their partner is promiscues, unfaitful, ... there comes name calling, and even severe physical violence sometimes. I'm not saying that this is what is happening with your AH, but if I were you I'd be very careful, as this thing is really progressive in active As. The good news is, once the drinking stops so does this Alcoholic jelousy too.
Again, I don't know if this helps you in any way, but maybe it is a good idea to protect yourself as much as possible, and read some on Alcoholic jelousy and see if this fits, so you get better idea what you're dealing with if that is the case.
Take care