Impurrfect will probably be along soon to help you, she is a great source of compassion, knowledge and understanding.
I do know that codependency is something that can have absolutely nothing to do with addiction, it usually is something learned in families, part of family dynamics and behaviors. We want to fix the world and give advice and make others conform to how we want things to be, and we will be frustrated, feeling like our expectations haven't been met, feel let down because we set ourselves up for impossible realities. We can't control anybody, we can try but it usually doesn't end well. Think of all kinds of situations with people that don't have anything to do with addictions. Controlling co-workers to be what we expect them to be and we can be our own worst enemy. We seem to love to be victims of other people and we aren't in reality. Other people see we have no boundaries and we allow things that we should not allow. It's about boundaries, healthy boundaries.