Well, Least, I went through the same thing with my mom 20 years ago. I'd been sober for only two years and the stress was bad but fortunately I didn't drink over it and this made it a lot easier to handle. She blamed me to all of her friends for "putting her" in a retirement home (just to "get her furniture" she said!) when actually it was her decision from beginning to end. Then her friends would scold me for being such a bad son. Once I got so angry that I left, put the dog in the car and the dog and I drove straight back to our winter home in D.C. (525 miles) in one day. I ran out of gas at one point since I was so upset I wasn't watching the gas gauge. Just before the Baltimore tunnel. Well we never did really patch it up and she died back in 1997. We did have some good times with the dog, a blue belton setter show dog, which I took on my visits to her and whom she loved to see. George was his name. A real sweetie who died two years later. Then I got Nika, a tricolor show setter from Idaho, so you see the dogs really helped me out on this. Nika died four years ago (I had to put her to sleep since she got diabetic paralysis) and now we have Boswell, the English Cocker, whose photo you may have seen on the dog thread.
Good luck on all of this. It's tough. It's always good to get some broad family support on this and have everyone sign on. Keep in touch if there is anything I can do to help.
W.