are you feeling any better, cherrie?
i don't have this type of experience, but i just wanted to send a cyber hug your way.
it is completely normal for us to feel shame when our children behave badly. it is an inherently human characteristic i think (like being proud of them when they do something great) and i also think cultural. we were brought up to feel this way.
but we can try and break those old, harmful belief systems. because we know better.
hard to do but how 'bout being ok with progress?
i also believe that honesty and candor go a long way in keeping relationships strong, and rebuilding those that have suffered some damage.
i hope we can get an update after the talk with bro-in-law