cherrie
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this........even though you have no guilt in your son's activities, we parents tend to take accountability....even when we shouldn't. I know I have in the past and would guess that most of the codependent people on SR have done it as some point as well.
One of the things I have to remember is that when I get involved in solving or participating in the resolution of my son's messes, I send a powerful but very subtle message that he is not capable of doing it himself. That message sent over and over again can convince them that they aren't capable. Letting them stand up and handle their problems, admit their mistakes, find resolutions, make amends is the best thing we can do for the addicts in our lives.
I bet you've been a great mother. You've taught your son right from wrong. And I would bet that your family knows this too.
It's such good news that your son is seeking recovery! I'll keep him and you in my prayers.
gentle hugs