It's a long post,so be prepared...
So, I haven't been on here too much, every now and then I'd check to see what all of you are up to,and I hope all is well.
Last time I was on here I mentioned my boyfriend.Well since then,which was the beginning of this month,he was sober for about 2 1/2 weeks. Things were good those 2 1/2 weeks,but I always felt that he would drink again and became very paranoid. Well,no surprise here but he drank again today.
The past couple of days he was pushing me away,claiming that he wanted space to himself,and I cried telling him that I wasn't getting enough affection..heh. Today we were suppose to hangout until his sister texted me and told me he had been drinking,then he called me and asked if I still wanted to come over even though he had done that. I was already half way there so I already told him I'd come by.
When I got there, he just wanted to get away,so we stopped by the mall because he was angry at the fact that his mom,his sister,and I pointed out that his eyes were super red,and he wanted to buy sunglasses to hide them. After that,we went to one more store,and I drove on back to his house.I knew he didn't want to go home yet,and he tried to get me to go to other places and I said no,because I knew what would happen (he would drink more and then just go off without me).
Then he says,"well if you're going home,can i head out that way too? and you can drop me off at my house". And here I said,"NO,I'm going to your house to get my stuff then leaving". He started to call a taxi then pleaded for me to drop him off somewhere else for the taxi to pick him up so he wouldnt have to deal with his mom and sister,and still I said NO,you can walk there if you want.
Eventually we got to his house,I texted his sister to come out immediately to try and stop him from leaving or just talking to him.It just got messy from there. His sister wanted all his stuff out of the house,and here I even offered to help pack his stuff. His parents are enablers,and his sister has gone through the same thing with her husband (he's an alcoholic/drug addict too).
Before we got to his house though while I was driving,he mentioned going on a break..I told him I don't do breaks,and that it was better off that we just broke up anyways. He was drunk,I could tell because he was talking waaay too much. So he was trying to be all smart and cool about it,but I know it will affect him later knowing I'm not there anymore...
I'm trying to do the same,I haven't texted or talked to him,even though he texted me after I left. Just saying that we were actually done,and he told me good luck and that I didn't have to worry about him anymore. I put away everything that reminded me of him,pictures,etc...
So,even though it's been a couple of hours,I've already decided that I don't want to go back...I don't want to end up like his sister who cries every night. No one deserves to go through this,it's a pretty cruel and sick thing to do to someone who just wanted to love and be loved. I hope I'm strong enough to not go back,so I just need support now,and to remind myself of what happened.
