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Old 08-25-2010, 12:53 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
naive
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
I pray that my first step will help to move my partner to take the first step on her journey.
the only person who you can control is yourself. in your quote above, you are trying to change someone else.

while it is natural to not want someone we love to suffer, we can not direct when they will hit their bottom and seek recovery.

all we can do is seek recovery ourselves. and that can result in many different things, including the addict choosing not seeking recovery but us healing and moving forward into a positive life.

i totally relate to the loneliness you express. for myself, i was asking my partner to be able to respond to my emotional needs as a human being, but he was unable to because he was/is a selfish drunk.

in recovery, i am learning how to determine what my goals, my needs are and to go out and seek that. in my experience, an addict simply wasn't able to be my partner because so many of my very valid needs were not being met. in recovery, i am realising that's ok, he is who he is and i was wrong to expect something he couldn't give me...like honesty, fidelity and sober company.

naive
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