BuffaloGal

Mine is too. Yesterday I had the first knock down, drag out fight with my aexh since our divorce 3 years ago, because he and his gf assumed that I'd take up the slack for their child care scheduling error. I said several immature and stupid things. Yet, I find, really, I just don't care. I bet he and his lovely domestic partner will think twice about assuming that I will roll over and do what suits them any more, which was my goal. It's good to have boundaries. It's better to have your boundaries taken seriously.

It was recently pointed out to me that it might not be in my best interests to bottle up what I really think. Plus, my compassion tank may empty, but my sarcasm tank has been accruing steadily since I swore off of verbal zingers. So, during our exchange I suggested that he was feeding me bs about the issue that caused the fight. He responded that he wasn't lying, but that he merely forgot a pertinent detail. Yeah. I suggested that his gf might be inappropriately involved in our daughter's life. FINALLY, he agreed with that assessment. I suggested that his gonads might be in his girlfriend's keeping more often than not. I apologized for that suggestion.

And, ya know, how this relates to the original post... I know that feeling of being ashamed of myself and p*ssed at "my" alcoholic at the same time very well, and yet now I don't feel shame or anger. I cleared the air. I know I'm not going to fight with him on a regular basis, or put him down any more about his gf's unseemly dominance in our daughter's life. Unless child abuse occurs, I'm going to let him handle it, no matter how well or poorly he does so. I said I was sorry for my ugly comments, I meant it, and it's over. There is no more merry go round of anger here. It's a huge improvement.

I don't have to be supportive! Nodding and agreeing with untruth was never supportive of him, or fair to me, anyway! Mwahahahahaha!!!