Welcome to SR, Amy, you've come to a good place where people understand.
I'm so sorry you and your kids are going through this, addiction truly is a family disease.
Take a read around and make yourself comfortable, and maybe think about trying something that has helped so many of us here...live meetings. Al-anon, Nar-anon and CoDA are three similar fellowships that are about helping us find our balance again and learning to live happy lives once again...whether we choose to stay or leave or addicts.
Others will be along to welcome you also. My son is the addict in my life, missing now for over 6 years. Although the relationship is different from yours, I know the helpless feeling of trying to save them when they won't save themselves. If love could save an addict, not one of us would be here.
Hope you'll stick around and join our family support here. It's a good place to come and vent, read, and learn.l
Hugs