Hey Duke-
welcome!
Sorry for the circumstances that brought you here but please know you've found a good place and you're not alone.
Stick around - keep posting - there are many many men on here who have struggled with A partners. And if you went to an AlAnon meeting where women were just bitching about men then I'd say keep an open mind and try again or try another meeting - that sounds like a crummy meeting - each group has its own personality and follows the steps and traditions - but some groups are "healthier" than others!
Peace-
B