Originally Posted by
EveningRose 
.... I have long heard that what others think of you often says more about who they really are....
That's been my experience too.
Originally Posted by
EveningRose .... Does this mean that, because my mother always assumed I was lying (and I was a very honest child), does that mean she did a lot of lying as a child herself, and so assumed her kids were doing the same to her?....
Maybe. Maybe not.
Either way, how would that affect _your_ recovery today and how you live your life from now on?
Originally Posted by
EveningRose .... I've thought more about what she has told me about her childhood, and I think she was jealous, bitter, and resentful as a child, too.....
Your mother is clearly toxic, so maybe she just accuses people as a normal kind of thing to do because she's a jealous, bitter and resentful _person_. Maybe her childhood had nothing to do with it, some people just grow up to be toxic adults for no good reason.
Originally Posted by
EveningRose .... I don't know if it's really important. ....
One of the "rules" of ACoA recovery is that it is important if _you_ say it's important
You get to direct your own life and your own recovery, without any "shoulds" from our past.
Originally Posted by
EveningRose .... how many perfectly normal incidents she has twisted in her mind into proof of my character flaws....
One of the issues I had to deal with in my own recovery was recognizing how many of those "twisted accusations" I came to believe over the years. As a child I had no way of discerning the insanity of my parents, never mind filter out the truth from the venom. As an adult I have found the greatest freedom from working on those "low self-esteem" issues with my sponsor or a good shrink and clearing them out.
Mike