so many gems in your responses thank you
Thank you all so much
In answer to one of your questions My 18 months of sobriety was not in any recovery program - I read Allen Carrs book - (several times, didnt work the first) got hypnotised which seemed to take away the desire to drink - but it came back after a year or so in a subtle way and i guess once I picked up it fed the addiction so the desire grew stronger and stronger...
While a lot of what Allen Carr says is true (there are no positives with drinking) I think that like you've pointed out for an alcoholic to TRULY get to a place where the desire is taken away and the inner dialogue is silenced - we have to commit to a journey of spiritual awakening where we hand it over to our higher power
I've been a Christian for 6 years and have prayed about my drinking but its almost like i havent fully believed that God would heal me in this way?
Perhaps part of me wanted to hold on to this for myself?? Like God you can have the other areas of my life but i'm holding onto the drinking ??
I'm not sure and while I can see that everyones DIFFERENT when it comes to when the compulsion goes away - I have hope in that it DOES go away and you are all proof of that
thank you